Tuesday, July 29, 2008

William Shakespeare's Venus and Adonis


William Shakespeare's Venus and Adonis
Quality: Five out of Ten.
Reason: Random.
Genre: Epic Poetry.
Original Language: English.
Date of Publication: 1593
Fog Index: 10.5/68% are harder.
Flesch Index: 62.6/71% are harder.
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 8/69% are harder.
Complex Words: 12%/59% have more.
Number: First.
Synopsis: It's really about Venus' obbession with Adonis. He then goes on a hunt, which she begs him not to do, and dies. At which point she freaks out and curses love.
Thought: Not really sure. Weird. Why does the goddess of love have no game? I was so confused. Although I did enjoy it when she curses loved.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five


Kurt Vonnegut’s SlaughterHouse-Five
Quality: Six out of Ten.
Reason: Random.
Genre: Science Fiction. Metafiction.
Original Language: English.
Date of Publication: 1969
Fog Index: 8.5/83% are harder.
Flesch Index: 69.8/82% are harder.
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 6.6/83% are harder.
Complex Words: 9%/79% have more.
Number: First.
Synopsis: Well, it’s essentially about a character named Billy Pilgrim who becomes unstuck in time. It is also about war and Kurt Vonnegut,ect.
Thought: I really enjoyed it. I mean, I really wasn’t not expecting it. I had been hearing so many things about this novel for so long that my expectations were pretty high. I thought that it was going to be much better.

That’s not to say that I didn’t really enjoy it. It was really good. I really enjoyed the metafiction aspects as well as just the sheer hilarity of it. I generally tend to enjoy the absurdist stuff….dealing with the angst of life by laughing at its insanity.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Frank Herbert's Dune Messiah



Frank Herbert's Dune Messiah
Quality: Ten out of Ten.
Reason: It's Dune!.
Genre: Science Fiction.
Original Language: English.
Date of Publication: 1969
Fog Index: 8.6/81% are harder.
Flesch Index: 68.5/80% are harder.
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 6.2/83% are harder.
Complex Words: 11%/65% have more.
Number: Sixth?
Synopsis: This is the second book of the Dune Storyline. Paul is now Emperor and this novel follows some of the problems and the plots that occur agaisnt him.
Thought: I think I was in sixth grade the first time that I tried to read this book. I really like it. It's not my favorite of the dune books but it's still really good. I also think that some of the conflicts in the novel are interesting.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Starhawk's Truth or Dare



Starhawk's Truth or Dare
Quality: Two out of Ten.
Reason: Random.
Genre: Women's Studies. Paganism.
Original Language: English.
Date of Publication: 1988
Fog Index: 12.0/56% are harder.
Flesch Index: 58.3/65% are harder.
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 9.3/58% are harder.
Complex Words: 13%/56% have more.
Number: First.
Synopsis: It's an examination of the power relationships.
Thought: I thought it was going to be a lot better. it just annoyed me,really.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Tennessee Williams' The Glass Menagerie


Tennesse William’s Glass Menagerie
Begin: 2/9/08
End: 2/9/08
Quality: Ten out of Ten.
Reason: Modern Drama.
Genre: Drama. Fiction.
Original Language: English.
Date of Publication: 1945
Fog Index: 6.9/91% are harder.
Flesch Index: 75.6/91% are harder.
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 5.3/91% are harder.
Complex Words: 7%/88% have more.
Number: A Few.
Synopsis: This is about a family living in a tiny apartment. The mother is domineering. The daughter is fragile and shy. The son is unhappy and wants to run away.
Thought: I love this play. I have for a while. Well, I love everything by Tennesse Williams or at least all of the things that I have read. I just think that he creates these remarkable characters and this sharp dialogue. Okay. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I can’t seem to be able to talk about literature in any sort of intelligent way right now. I liked it! I connected with Tom. I think he’s a big homo. I also really love Amanda. I’m done.

Frank Herbert's Dune



Frank Herbert’s Dune
Begin: 2/1/08
End: 2/8/08
Quality: Ten out of Ten.
Reason: Reading Plan.
Genre: Science Fiction. Fiction. Novel.
Original Language: English.
Date of Publication: 1965
Fog Index: 7.9/85% are harder.
Flesch Index: 72.1/86% are harder.
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 5.9/86% are harder.
Complex Words: 9%/76% have more.
Number: Countless.
Synopsis: This novel takes place far in the future in a vast interstellar empire. The main character, Paul, is the heir designate of House Arteries. His family has just been given stewardship of the fief of Arrakis. Arrakis is the most important planet in the universe because of the spice called Melange. The stewardship is a trap set between the emperor and the House Harkoneen. The Atreides is attacked by forces of both of these and Paul escapes to the desert with his mother and are taken in by the indigenous people of Arrakis, the Fremen. He builds them into an impressive fighting force and becomes a messiah to them eventually taking back Arrakis and becoming Emperor.
Thought: God, I really love this book! I just can’t get enough. I have read it countless times. It’s just so damn smart! The characters are so damned developed and it just brings up so many issues and thoughts that fascinate me. Herbert mixes Politics, Religion, Ecology, Technology, ect. It’s amazing.

Frank Hebert is so political and philosophical. He address so many damn issues here and really makes you think while telling an amazing story and really captivating you.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Hakuyu Taizan Maezumi and Bernard Glassman's on Zen Practice


Hakuyu Taizan Maezumi and Bernard Glassman's on Zen Practice
Begin: 1/12/08
End: 1/27/08
Quality: Nine out of Ten.
Reason: Random.
Genre: Religion. Buddhism. Zen.
Original Language: English.
Date of Publication: 2002
Fog Index: 11.3/63% are harder.
Flesch Index: 60.5/68% are harder.
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 8.6/66% are harder.
Complex Words: 13%/57% have more.
Number: Second.
Synopsis: I think the title explains it all. This book is just basically about Zen Practices. Meditation, Koans, ect.
Thought: I really liked it. I found it to be informing. I am not sure exactly what I can say about it. I mean it is really is what it is and I did finish it a little while ago.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Maxine Hong Kingston's Woman Warrior



Maxine Hong Kingston
Begin: 1/24/08
End: 1/31/08
Quality: Seven out of Ten.
Reason: Unread.
Genre: Memoir. Non-Fiction. Asian-American Fiction.
Original Language: English.
Date of Publication: 1975
Fog Index:7.5/88% are harder.
Flesch Index: 75.7/90% are harder.
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 5.8/88% are harder.
Complex Words: 6%/91% are have more.
Number: Second.
Synopsis: Hard to describe. It’s separated into five chapters which each recount events that effect her from an Aunt who killed herself and her illegitimate child to her mother’s experiences in Medical School to reimagining herself as Fa Mulan and others.
Thoughts: Good. I was expecting it to be better, I have to say. It’s not that I didn’t like it but for a book that is the most commonly taught text in modern university education, I was expecting to be fucking blown away. Overall, I did really enjoy it.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Marjane Satrapi's The Complete Persepolis



Marjane Satrapi’s Persepolis
Begin: 1/24/08
End: 1/24/08
Quality: Ten out of Ten.
Reason: Unread.
Genre: Memoir. Graphic Novel. Non-Fiction.
Original Language: French.
Date of Publication: 2003
Fog Index: N/A
Flesch Index: N/A
Flesch-Kincaid Index: N/A
Complex Words: N/A
Number: First.
Synopsis: This is the autobiographical story of Marjane Satrapi growing up in Iran during a very tumultuous time.
Thought: Damn! This was so good. My friend Michelle has been trying to get me to read this for a very long time. I always wanted to but graphic novels are so damn expensive and I just read them so fast. I ended up reading it in one day. It was that mesmerizing. I literally could not put this book down. I just fell in love with everything about it.

Toni Morrison's Love


Toni Morrison’s Love
Begin: 1/19/08
End: 1/21/08
Quality: Seven out of Ten.
Reason: Reading Plan.
Genre: Fiction. African-American Fiction. Literature.
Original Language: English.
Date of Publication: 2003
Fog Index: 8.1/85% are harder.
Flesch Index: 72.4/86% are harder.
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 6.1/86% are harder.
Complex Words: 8%/82% have more.
Number: Third?
Synopsis: This is the story of the women in the life of Bill Cosey. We have his granddaughter, his wife, his former employer L and a few others.
Thought: As I have stated many times, I am completely obsessed with Toni Morrison. She is by far my favorite writer and I spend more than a little time immersed in her many novels. This might just be my least favorite of all of her books. I mean, I liked it. Don’t get me wrong. It just doesn’t have the same effect as say the Bluest Eye or Song of Solomon.

I loved the idea of a novel based around a character that is long dead and yet still carries so much weight in this novel. I also really wanted to spend time with L. What a captivating character! I mean I literally could read her section over and over again.

Herbert Mason's Translation of the Epic of Gilgamesh



Gilgamesh
Begin: 1/21/08
End: 1/24/08
Quality: Nine out of Ten.
Reason: Unread.
Genre: Epic. Summerian Literature. Ancient Literature.
Original Language: Akkadian.
Date of Publication: 7th Century B.C.
Fog Index: 12.2/57% are harder.
Flesch Index: 61.4/69% are harder.
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 9.3/61% are harder.
Complex Words: 12%/64% have more.
Number: First.
Synopsis: This is an ancient Epic that concerns Gilgamesh and his friend Enkidu and their adventures and then Gilgamesh’s reaction to Enkidu’s death.
Thought: I had always heard that this had a big influence on the writing of the Torah. I can see it a little bit but I was expecting it to be more in line with the Torah. I still enjoyed it. It was not like anything that I could have predicted. I still enjoyed it.

I was surprised by the situation between Inanna and Gilgamesh. How he pretty much called her out on her shit.

Overall, I really enjoyed it. The translation was really tight and the story very mesmerizing. I wish now that I had not gotten an abridged version but I will have to correct that at some point in the near future.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

William Shakespeare's King Lear


William Shakespeare’s King Lear
Begin: 1/14/08
End: 1/19/08
Quality: Nine out of Ten.
Reason: Reading Plan.
Genre: Drama. Classics.
Original Language: English.
Date of Publication: 1608.
Fog Index: 6.8/88% are harder.
Flesch Index: 75.0/90% are harder.
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 4.8/90% are harder.
Complex Words: 9%/75% have more.
Number: Fourth?
Synopsis: King Lear decides to retire and split his kingdom in three among his daughters. He furthermore decides that they should tell me before the full court how much they love him. Goneril and Regan flatter him quite a bit but Cordelia, his favorite, refuses to do this and is banished without any land. Once he leaves the throne, his daughters refuse to let him live in style. Eventually, Cordelia, who has married the King of France, invade to put Lear back on the throne. Tragedy ensues all over.
Thoughts: This is one of my favorite Shakespeare plays. It is really quite good. I mean it’s horribly tragic and sad. It is probably one of Shakespeare’s most brutal plays. I can understand why it is so popular today with it’s rather nihilistic themes. And you also have some of Shakespeare’s most memorable characters. Edmund and Kent and Cordelia and Lear. It all fits together rather impressively.
Not really sure what else to say about a play that has been worked over by some of the greatest scholars so I will leave it at this.

Eugene Ionesco's Rhinoceros


Eugene Ionesco
Begin: 1/6/08
End: 1/12/08
Quality: Four out of Ten.
Reason: Unread. Modern Drama.
Genre: Drama. Theater of the Absurd.
Original Language: French.
Date of Publication: 1960.
Fog Index: 8.9/81% are harder.
Flesch Index: 67.3/78% are harder.
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 6.5/84% are harder.
Complex Words: 12%/65% have more.
Number: First.
Synopsis: The play starts in this little café in a small town. Two friends are chatting about a number of topics. A few of the other towns people are also conversing. A rhino runs through the town which brings shock and awe to everyone. It eventually comes out that everyone in the town is turning into Rhinos. No. Seriously!
Thoughts: I have a tendency to like the idea of absurdist plays more than I actually like them. Does that make any sense?

I found this play to be rather tedious but now thinking back about and seeing the wider arc, I appreciate it more and find that I kinda of liked it. It’s like a monet. I only like it from a far off view. It makes sense and I get it better than when I was actually immersed in it.

So maybe the next time that I read this, I will get more out of it or it is possibly that I am only going to really like it from a far off perspective and never actually enjoy reading it. We shall just have to wait and see.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Mary Norton's Bedknob and Broomstick



Mary Norton’s Bedknob and Broomstick.
Begin: 1/13/08
End: 1/13/08
Quality: Eight out of Ten.
Reason: Unread.
Genre: Children’s Literature.
Original Language: English.
Date of Publication: 1943.
Fog Index: N/A
Flesch Index: N/A
Flesch-Kincaid Index: N/A
Complex Words: N/A
Number: First.
Synopsis: Three siblings gain a present from a witch in training and have numerous adventures including getting locked up in a jail in London, escaping from cannibals on a tropical island and even going back in time to converse with a 17th century necromancer.
Thoughts: The movie is one of my all time favorite Disney movies and so when I found the book outside of Shaw’s, I was very excited. I ended up reading it on the bus to Providence one day. I did really enjoy it but it’s just totally different from the movie. They took the basic idea and just switched and jumbled everything. I still did enjoy it, it was just weird getting used to the new story.

Christopher Moore's Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal



Christopher Moore’s Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal.
Begin: 12/27/07
End: 1/6/08
Quality: Ten out of Ten.
Reason: Unread. Samantha.
Genre: Comedic Novel. Fiction.
Original Language: English.
Date of Publication: 2002.
Fog Index: 7.1/90% are harder.
Flesch Index: 77.6/93% are harder.
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 5.4/90% are harder.
Complex Words: 6%/92% have more.
Number: First.
Synopsis: This pretty much is a full-length story of the life of Jesus, according to his best friend, Biff. The bible talks about the birth of Jesus and his ministry but leaves a whole lot of shit out. Christopher Moore has taken a comic look at the missing years.
Thoughts: I kinda have a funny story about this book. I was at Barnes and Nobles with my friend Caleb. We were looking for something else and we saw this book. I mocked it. I said that I was too much of a snob to read it or anything by Christopher Moore. I now recant. Completely Recant. This book was so damn good. Samantha and Dave bought it for me for my birthday and it was mesmerizing. I am fairly well versed in the bible and the teachings of Jesus having been a Pentecostal for a few years and a serious church go-er. It even made my aesthetic ass rethink the teaching of Jesus and my summarily rejection of him and his church. It was funny, poignant, smart and thought provoking. It reminded even a bit of Tom Robbins. I highly recommend it. It was also not quite as sacrilegious as I would have expected.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Aesthetics of Toni Morrison




The Aesthetics of Toni Morrison
Begin: 12/26/07
End: 1/11/08
Quality: Ten out of Ten.
Reason: Random.
Genre: Literary Criticism.
Original Language: English.
Date of Publication: 2000.
Fog Index: 19.0/7% are harder.
Flesch Index: 35.9/24% are harder.
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 15.8/7% are harder.
Complex Words: 17%/40% have more.
Number: First.
Synopsis: A collection of essays dealing with Toni Morrison’s writings.
Thoughts: I found it to be fascinating, really fascinating. I mean I am totally and utterly obsessed with Toni Morrison. She is the cat’s meow to me. The articles were really good and expanded some of my perceptions of the novels of Toni Morrison. I don’t know what else to say about them so I will stop now.

Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye




Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye
Begin: 12/23/07
End: 12/25/07
Quality: Ten out of Ten.
Reason: Reading Plan.
Genre: Literature. African-American Literature.
Original Language: English.
Date of Publication: 1970.
Fog Index: 7.2/90% are harder.
Flesch Index: 76.8/92% are harder
Flesch-Kincaid Index: 5.3/92% are harder.


I have a difficult time in writing about Toni Morrison’s novels. It is exceedingly difficult for me to parse out reactions and intelligent commentary on her fiction for a number of reasons. Her prose is filled with such mesmerizing lyricism and she really says so much and get to such fundamental layers of humanity. It is hard to parse out what is important and what is not. My main trouble with writing about her is that her novels mainly touch my subconscious and a lot of what I get from her novels is below the surface, so to speak. I mean that she touches below where there are words. I am not sure if that makes sense or maybe it’s just my excuse for not being able to write critically about her and not really having developed good writing skills.

I do have a few things that I would like to talk about in terms of the Bluest Eye.


Pecola Breedlove: What can anyone say about this poor thing? This whole novel is centered on her, is centered more specifically on how she is destroyed. I am not even sure if destruction is the right word here. It does not adequately get at what happens to Pecola. It’s like her very mind/soul shatters and she is not even aware of it. And it shatters not just by that one horrible act which occurs to her but also by a multitude of factors.

I should probably start by talking about her family. This is how we are introduced to them in the novel:
But their ugliness was unique. No one could have convinced them that they were not relentlessly and aggressively ugly.Except for the father, Cholly, whose ugliness (the result of despair, dissipations, and violence directed toward petty things and weak people) was behavior, the rest of the family- Mrs. Breedlove, Sammy Breedlove, and Pecola Breedlove- wore their ugliness, put it on, so to speak, although it did not belong to them. …You looked at them and wondered why they were so ugly; you looked closely and could not find the source. Then you realized that it comes from conviction, their conviction. It was as though some mysterious all-knowing master had given each one of cloak of ugliness to wear, and they had each accepted it without question. The master had said, “You are ugly people.” They had looked about themselves and saw nothing to contradict the statement; saw, in fact, support for it leaning at them from every billboard, every movie, every glance. “Yes,” they had said. “You are right.” And they took the ugliness in their hands, threw it as a mantle over them, and went about the world with it. Dealing with it each according to his way…And Pecola. She hid behind hers. Concealed, veiled, eclipsed-peeping out from behind the shroud very seldom, and then only to yearn for the return of her mask. (28)

This is not a happy, loving family which gives support and a foundation of a healthy life to their children. And it just doesn’t end with the fact that they believed, which seems to stem from Mrs. Breedlove’s education in movies, that they are ugly. Neither the mother nor the father are happy in their own selves and they seem to take it out on each other and simply ignore the children.

Toni Morrison puts a strong parraell between the family of Frieda and Claudia and the family of the Breedloves. We see an example of a healthy family with Frieds and Claudia. Parents who loves their children. Parents who explain, nurture and raise their children. We see none of this with the Breedloves. The first thing that we discover about them is that the father had burnt down their home and we later discover that neither the father nor the mother even bothered to visit Pecola while she was staying at someone else’s house.

We then have the community. Morrison writes of a community in this novel that is damn right vampiric in effect. She is a complete outsider. The first time that we hear of her, Claudia is told by her mother that “a ‘case was coming-a girl who had no place to go.” We later see a bunch of schoolchildren mocking her. And when her father rapes her, the community further rejects her.

“They were disgusted, amused, shocked, outraged, or even excited by the story. But we listened for the one who would say, “Poor Little Girl,” or, “Poor Baby,” but there was only head-wagging where those words should have been. We looked for eyes creased with concern but saw only veils. (149)


“All of our waste which we dumped on her and which she absorbed. And all of our beauty, which was hers first and which she gave to us. All of us- all who knew her- felt so wholesome after we cleaned ourselves on her. We were so beautiful when we stood astride her ugliness. Her simplicity decorated us, her guilt sanctified us, her pain made us glow with health, her awkwardness made us think we had a sense of humor. Her inarticulateness made us believe we were eloquent. Her poverty kept us generous. Even her waking dreams we used-to silence our own nightmares. And she let us, and thereby deserved our contempt. We honed our ego on her, padded our characters with her frailty, and yawned in the fantasy of our strength.” (163)

Had she had the support of her community or of her family. Morrison writes of how her mother beat her senseless and her father ran off. Who knows what would have happened to Pecola? Certainly, she wouldn’t have shattered.

And the last aspect of Pecola that I would like to write about here is how her internalized standards of beauty shattered her.
“Frieda and she had a loving conversation about how cu-ute Shirley Temple was. I couldn’t join them in their adoration because I hated Shirley. Not because she was cute, but because she danced with Bojangles, who was my friend, my uncle, my daddy, and who ought to have been soft-shoeing it and chuckling with me. Instead he was enjoying, sharing, giving a lovely dance thing with one of those little white girls whose socks never slid down under their heals. So I said, ‘I like Jane Whithers.’” (13)

She sees herself as ugly and she in Shirley Temple the idealized beauty that she is missing and she somehow thinks that if she gets blue eyes that she will be loved and accepted. She has wholly internalized the standards of beauty, the white standards of beauty. We have the black community giving their daughters white dolls and loving white children. We have Mrs. Breedlove choosing her white employers over her own family.

I also saw Toni Morrison set up some interesting parallels. Pecola vs. Maureen. Gerladine vs. Pauline and furthermore the parallel between the Breedloves and the Macteer. I would also like to pay more attention to the description of the Breedlove’s house next time. I think that might be an interesting exploration.

The last thing of note to me, and I am sure that I talked about this the last time I wrote about the Bluest Eye. I connect to this story on a deep level because I am a gay man and my community is very shallow. I am part and parcel to that community, another cog in the faggy factory of vanity.

I know there was a bunch of more stuff that I noted and found and should be talking about but I did finish this a while ago and still need to write one more of these and then hit the hay.

Here’s Quotes…

“Frieda and she had a loving conversation about how cu-ute Shirley Temple was. I couldn’t join them in their adoration because I hated Shirley. Not because she was cute, but because she danced with Bojangles, who was my friend, my uncle, my daddy, and who ought to have been soft-shoeing it and chuckling with me. Instead he was enjoying, sharing, giving a lovely dance thing with one of those little white girls whose socks never slid down under their heals. So I said, ‘I like Jane Whithers.’” (13)

“To see of what it was made so discover the dearness, to find the beauty, the desirability that had escape me, but apparently only me.” (14)

“I destroyed white baby dolls.
But the dismembering of dolls was not the true horror. The truly horrifying thing was the transference of the same impulse to little white girl. The indifference with which I could have axed them was shaken only by my desire to do so. To discover what eluded me: the secret of the magic they weaved on others. What made people look at them and say, ‘Awwww,’ but not for me. The eye slide of back woman as they approached them on the street, and the possessive gentleness of their touch as they handled them….Thus the conversation from pristine sadism to fabricated hatred, to fraudulent love. It was a small step to Shirley Temple. I learned much later to worship her, just as I learned to delight in cleanliness, knowing, even as I learned, that the change was adjustment without improvement.” (15-16)

“He did not see her, because for him there is nothing to see. How can a fifty-two year old white immigrant shopkeeper with the taste of potatoes and beer in his mouth, his mind honed on the doe-eyed Virgin Mary, his sensibilities blunted by a permanent awareness of loss, see a little black girl. Nothing in his life even suggested that the feat was possible, not to say desirable or necessary.” (36)

“They had extemporized a verse made up of two insults about matters over which the victim had no control; the color of her skin and speculations on the sleeping habits of an adult, wildly fitting in its incoherence. That they themselves were black, or that their own father had similarly relaxed habits was irrelevant. It was their contempt for their own blackness that gave the first insult its teeth. They seemed to have taken all of their smoothly cultivated ignorance, their exquisitely learned self-hatred, their elaborately designed hopelessness and sucked it all up into a fiery cone of scorn that had burned for ages in the hollows of their minds-cooled-and spilled over lips of outrage, consuming whatever was in its path. They danced a macabre ballet around the victim, whom, for their own sake, they were prepared to sacrifice to the flaming pit.” (50)

“Pecola stood a little apart from us, her eyes hinged in the direction in which Maureen had Fled. She seemed to fold into herself, like a pleated wing. Her pain antagonized me. I wanted to open her ip, crisp her edges, ram a stick down that hunched and curving spine, force her to stand erect and spit the misery out on the streets. But she held it in where it could lap up in her eyes.” (57)


“We walked quickly at first, and then slower, pausing every now and then to fasten garters, tie shoelaces, scratch, or examine old scars. We were sinking under the wisdom, accuracy, and relevance of Maureen’s last words. If she was cute-and if anything could be believed, she was-then we were not. And what did that mean? We were lesser. Nicer, brighter, but still lesser. Dolls we could destroy, but we could not destroy the honey voices of parents and aunts, the obediene in the eyes of our peers, the slippery light in the eyes of our teachers when they encounters the Maureen Peals of the world. What was the secret? What did we lack? Why was it so important? And so what? Guileless and without vanity, we were still in love with ourselves then. We felt comfortable in our skins, enjoyed the news that our sense released to us, adired our dirt, cultivated our scars, and could not comprehend this unworthiness. Jealousy we understood and though natural- a desire to have what somebody else had; but envy was a strange, new feeling for us. And all the tome we knew that Maureen Peal was not the enemy and not worthy of such intense hatred. The Thing to fear was the Thing that made her beautiful, and not us.” (57-58)

“Along with the idea of romantic love, she was introduced to another-physical beauty. Probably the most destructive ideas in the history of human thought. Both originated in envy, thrived in insecurity, and ended in disillusion. In equating physical beauty with virtue, she stripped her mind, bound it, and collected self-contempt by the heap. She forgot lust and simple caring for…She was never able, after her education in the movies, to look at a face and not assign it some category in the scale of absolute beauty, and the scale was one she absorbed in full from the silver screen. “(95)

“Never did he once consider directing his hatred toward the hunters. Such an emotion would have destroyed him. They were big, white, armed hunters. He was small, black, helpless. His subconscious knew what his conscious mind did not guess-that hating them would have consumed him, burned him up like a piece of soft coal, leaving only flakes of ash and a question mark of smoke.” (118)

“All of our waste which we dumped on her and which she absorbed. And all of our beauty, which was hers first and which she gave to us. All of us- all who knew her- felt so wholesome after we cleaned ourselves on her. We were so beautiful when we stood astride her ugliness. Her simplicity decorated us, her guilt sanctified us, her pain made us glow with health, her awkwardness made us think we had a sense of humor. Her inarticulateness made us believe we were eloquent. Her poverty kept us generous. Even her waking dreams we used-to silence our own nightmares. And she let us, and thereby deserved our contempt. We honed our ego on her, padded our characters with her frailty, and yawned in the fantasy of our strength.” (163)

"And fantasy it was, for we were not strong, only aggressive; we were not free, merely licensed; we were not compassionate, we were polite; not good, but well behaved. We courted death in order to call ourselves brave, and hid like thieves from life. We substituted good grammar for intellect; we switched habtits to stimulate maturity; we rearranged lies and called it truth, seeing in the new pattern of an old idea the Revelation and the Word.” (163)

The birdlike gestures are worn away to a mere picking and plucking her way between the tire rims and the sunflowers, between Coke bottles and milkweed, among all the waste and beauty of the world—which is what she herself was. All of our waste which we dumped on her and which she absorbed. And all of our beauty, which was hers first and which she gave to us.

Love is never any better than the lover. Wicked people love wickedly, violent people love violently, weak people love weakly, stupid people love stupidly, but the love of a free man is never safe. There is no gift for the beloved. The lover alone possesses his gift of love. The loved one is shorn, neutralized, frozen in the glare of the lover’s inward eye."